Awww....

Well, it seems like I do blog in a frequent pace nowadays. Reasons? Remain unknown. But from a crude view, most probably due to LONELINESS I think??? Maybe I just need someone to talk to, to share with in this anguish period where I'm actually reluctant to say it out loud to everyone..perhaps...

At first, my intention on subscribing Newscientist was as a resource to improve my English, and since I'm applying for medicine course, I bet it would be a perfect idea. But after sometime, I found it REALLY brainstorming, with umpteen facts and breakthrough in the science field. It's VERY tiring indeed, always reminding me bout the times when I was preparing for A-levels. Besides, it do help me to discover what I like actually. After those obstacles in Biology last year, I still find my interest in it. How fascinating...yet IRONIC, as I'd just been 'DUMPED' not long ago.

It's approaching the end of the month, but I still haven't got any news from the other 3 unis. Actually, I'm a bit non-puzzled by Mom's reaction. She seems so calm and confident that her daughter will definately get the seats. By scientific view, what has driven her to think so? Is there any proof or studies been made? Or just merely her instinct? That remains an enigma though.

Despite all those query that baffled me, there is an article I read yesterday which was quite enlightening yet compelling. I hate to read the history section always, but in this recent issue, it does revealed a story about a formidable doctor. 'She' masqueraded as a boy just to study medicine in Edinburgh. Ha, I felt like taunted. Then for her entire life, she devoted to the medicine field as to fight to better the condition for the troops, but end her life because 'she' had fallen as victim to an epidemic during the 18's. The military sealed her information because they felt they have been tricked. The life story of that caring yet quarrelsome, dainty yet dashing doctor had much more similarities with Eun Chan, the female character in Coffee Prince, which I describe as my 'cure' for my ailing heart previously.

'She' too, pretended to be a boy in order to get the job as she was the breadwinner of her family after the death of her father leaving them in destitute. She worked in a cafe, where eventually fall in love with the manager. After I read the article, I can't stand the temptation of continuing watching it. Yesterday, I watched the scene where the couples play around together. It really was an unforgettable scene watching Eun Chan and Han Kyul dating each other. Unlike conventional Korean drama love story, the way Eun Chan behave is to my liking. She did face the problem with the elders, but by unveiling all her feelings to her love ones, and treating all her difficulties optimistically made her a real admirable character to me. Just as soon as I found out the appropriate way of describing her will I pay my tribute to her in this blog.

But just at the moment, Anyong for blog, and say HI to Chan. Aza FIGHTING!!

Recovering

Suddenly, I have this sudden feeling to blog after indulging myself in dramas. Perhaps, an excuse for me to heal my soul after being rejected by Edinburgh. The feeling was awful, terribly horrible. For the first time I felt my heart was wringing, I felt abandoned, lost, insecure.

So, I end up watching Korean drama, to ran away, to change my attention on that being 'dumped' feeling. The drama was called The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince, casted by one of my favourite actress Yoon Eun Hye. It works actually, I mean by healing me. It was some sort of romantic comedy type, an ideal type for laughter. But I knew it can't be a 'long-term' solution to my slight. During the process, I do think a lot. Bout who am I actually, bout my future, bout why am I behind all of my friends, which way should I pave. I make up my mind, I knew I won't be insisting on medicine, becoz I hesitant of being suit in that field. I kind of wake up actually, realizing that my ultimate goal is still being a successful entreprenuer. So I made a decisive statement by my own: I'll GO FOR it if I'm unable with my science side. I'll live with my own style till then.

To my surprise, I discover that talking to freinds did help in curing your physocoligal problem, or precisely writing what you feel helps to release the tense in your inner side. I think that's the main reason why I am writing right now, because it HEALS beside indulging myself into the TV world. It's not long ago where I take blogging as a way to improve my English writing, but now, I would take it as a beloved freind, a freind who will be there with me, ALWAYS.

GUTS!!!!

It was not long ago since my "refurbished" first post entitled GIVE IT A TRY. In that post, it actually showed my feeble side, side where I'm not confident at all, coaxing myself to let myself out of the box.

And by this sudden, I caught the message from the Master of Feng Shui which he was trying to tell. I'M REALLY LACK OF GUTS. To perceive the theory is not an instant task, I made it through the IELTS preparation course which I have subcribed online and MSN's Horoscope description. I was feeling desparate the other day when I found out the reading section is not that easy to score as I thought before. Thing that make me down even more was actually the effort I have put in reading. I thought reading was the core subject in improving every aspect in English, but it came out that it was a sheer wrong. I thought by reading it would improve my speaking skills indirectly as they intermix, but still, I was wrong. Then it come to a conclusion that speaking might not be as difficult as I thought, all I need to do is PRACTICE!! I CAN DO IT! I should have hold the principle IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING and NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE earlier...it actually turns out to be much more easier than doing the IELTS reading...maybe...
But the important thing was, I SHOULDN'T be haunted by the band that Miss Angie gave me during my A-level time..a 5.5 band for it!YUCKS!!!!!!

Another thing is I'm doubtful if I made the right choice to subscibe Astro On Demand..it seems that the films are halting my process..AS IF...but it is worth-watching...just that I'm A LITTLE BIT addicted..haha...MISS Raymond Lam's voice..

Now, everyone seems to make a big fuss about Carbon Emission issue..VERY BIG..and as next month will be an 'Earth' month, in addition to MY 20TH BIRTHDAY, I wonder what I can do for Mother Nature and exploring myself.....

Bill Gates dethroned

I guess it's an insultment for me to copy the title of 'World's Richest Person' by Forbes on MSN today...as the content I would like to share would appeared to be contradict. Well, according to Forbes, WARREN BUFFETT weared the throne of the' richest' world, due to his surging shares, preceding Gates. When I first saw this, I wondered how will Gates feeled. Will he feel a little bit of uneasy? or his attitude towards this will be just indifference? I don't know. A second later, my eyes riveted on the 'talk back' sesion entitled : Is Warren your investing model. I checked up on the response, quite active, but not overwhelming.

Though, I still find something interesting amid it. There's one who wrote : " The thing is that so many people follow a person instead of learning from them and making their own path.... " This statement is INCREDIBLY TRUE. People tends to imitate the way 'success' people live, dreaming where someday they might become one of them too. But as time goes buy, it just simply prove tht the way will NOT WORK forever. Yeah, I'm talking bout eternity here. Ironically, the post after it was:" Yes. I buy Berkshire Hathaway stock, so I guess I could say I invest like him." Well, it would be a sheer bewilderment if it's written by the same person.Haha.
In fact, it really reveals two exterme perspective in life, and for me, my party will be the first one undoubtly. Stay on your principle, but being dubious occasionally would be fine. I like the phrase :Impossible is NOTHING, and NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!! Recalling wht uncle Sai had thought me before: What you perceived, and you believed, you'll achieved.

I don't know if this is a way to console my self in this long-waiting process, but at least, it does healed me when I think in tht way...

Give it a TRY!!!

Today isn't a very good day for me. Reasons? Even I myself don't really know.

OK...Let's start from the early morning. Obviously, I didn't sleep well last night, most probably due to the excitement for e-learning. For the very first time, I attended a virtual classroom. Yes, I did pay for the class, which makes me feeling to be a 'real' student. So, it end up I woke up half an hour earlier than usual..6:30am I guess? At first, my mood is still in the excitation state, but it dwindled when I checked for my mail after my bicycle ride. Still..there's NO NEWS from uni...which REALLY got me down. Later, I continued with my reading on one of my 'prodigious' freind. He's 2 years younger than me...but he really amased me with his ability on manouevering English language. It seems like it's his mother tongue. Sometimes, I do wonder why I'm so hooked with his talent especially on language. Maybe just b'coz he's YELLOW as I am but forgetting tht his demand on Chinese maybe is not as good as I am...MAYBE???

Reading his blog conjured up my memories on many things...I too sometimes have the same kind of feeling...as in feeling myself is as tiny as an ant, lost in the middle of the way we called LIFE...bla bla and bla...but today, the thing tht encoded into my mind is not more thn an encounterment between a part-time salesman and him. In his blog, he said tht HE WAS LUCKY ENOUGH to have escape tht WAITING period...which I'm in NOW...though he's refering to SPM..instead of using 'wht the hell' or 'W.I.T.H', I would just like to use my OWN one...diu...

But the thing tht sadden me most is not he had gone through tht particular period, wht I care the most is actually HIS AGE!!He is 2 years younger thn me...but yet he's in the same academic state as me!!!Does it prove tht I'm tht bad? Is it? Being Absurd, I've been sulking all day long.

But perhaps, I wasn't tht bad after all. I saw a qoute on reader digest today, saying tht 'GENIOUS IS IMMEDIATE BUT TALENT TAKES TIME', so it does prove tht I CAN BE A TALENTED PERSON, ain't I? So here I am stepping one foot forward trying to manage my long lefted blog....ya~~JUST TRY....AND we'll see....

I hope to write further but my Korean drama addict is too tempting...haiz...so...CHIAO!!!